Choices

The phone rang very early this morning. I was still asleep. I groggily turned to grab the handset on the bedside table. It was my sister. She just wanted to vent. She got off the phone with a man with whom she had to break some bad news. She declined the option she once considered. The man refused to listen to her reasoning. In fact, she belittled her saying he wasted his time and that she was making the wrong choice. She was taken aback by his reaction. He even raised his voice at her. By the end of the phone call, she was close to tears but somehow managed to control her emotions.

"It's all good." I said. "At least, he showed his true colors--Imagine if you actually had to report to this guy? No amount of money in the world is worth the stress."

She agreed with me. She had always wanted this option for years but the timing was not right. Her daughter had two more years to go at her school and she didn't feel right pulling her out now. She had also given her commitment to work with another person and felt strongly about keeping her word. It was a difficult decision but it felt right for her. She thought about this thoroughly and felt bad turning the other option down.

"Look, if he can't understand what matters to you , he will only cause you grief. The answer is clear: it is a definite no. At least, when you look back, you won't have any regrets. I think that's an important thing. If it is really meant to be, there will be other options out there for you."

Coincidentally, T shared with me a quote from John Maeda's blog a few days ago. It was from the book, The Tao of Warren Buffett:

In looking for someone to hire, you look for three qualities: integrity, intelligence, and energy. But the most important is integrity, because if they don’t have that, the other two qualities, intelligence and energy, are going to kill you.

I shared the quote to my sister and it made her tearful. She said, "Integrity has gotten me this far in life. It is not worth giving it up for this one." I completely agree with her. "And, if that yelling guy cannot see this quality in you, then it is his loss not yours."

By the end of our conversation, she felt much better.